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They liked my husband and doubtless saw me as some harridan who had driven him elsewhere. Experts believe that about 10 percent of these arrests are of the sex patrons, almost all of whom are men. One reason may be that real relationships with women are risky and complicated, features that men do not always want and cannot always handle. The women described feelings of shame and blamed themselves The initial trauma of the discovery is followed by disbelief and a need to make sense of what has happened. On the other hand, a man can usually get sex for free in the context of an ordinary intimate relationship. Rather men's motives for buying sex are hotly contested among researchers. Print Advertisement Arthur is an alleged john, a man who patronizes prostitutes. After all, people are generally willing to pay for activities they enjoy as much as they do sex.

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This rationale lies behind the law in Sweden that came into force in under which selling sex is legal but buying sex is not. The behavior of male customers during their encounters with prostitutes also may suggest that they seek a social connection outside of coitus. Because there can be little as shocking as discovering that your trusted partner is paying for sex behind your back. Others paint a dimmer portrait of johns, believing they are typically driven by chauvinistic motives, such as a desire to dominate and control women. In Thailand, where prostitution is illegal but socially accepted, one study suggested that a whopping 95 percent of men have slept with a prostitute. Print Advertisement Arthur is an alleged john, a man who patronizes prostitutes. What they all agree on is one thing: But others felt that the counsellor was seeking to blame them. In contrast, sex workers generally accept their customers unconditionally and offer intimacy on demand, whatever their true feelings, says gender researcher Gunda Schumann, who co-authored a book on the psychology of prostitution. Nor are these men defined by obvious personality problems. In addition, they often suffer from physical abuse at the hands of their customers. In this view, ordinary men buy sex to deal with their psychological insecurities as well as their sexual needs. Gerheim spotted a type of romantic john who imagines that he is having a genuine relationship with a prostitute based on mutual trust. But almost no attention has been paid to the partners of men who visit prostitutes. Prostitutes are far less exacting than girlfriends and wives and may even be soothing to the psyche. Rather men's motives for buying sex are hotly contested among researchers. In the opinion of these dissenters, johns in the U. Some sex purchasers may even have a social agenda to go along with their personal predilections. Other researchers disagree that prostitutes serve as a balm for the woes of essentially normal men. For example, the men who demanded sex without condoms tended to score higher on aggression, and married and well-to-do customers practiced unprotected sex more frequently than others did. Prostitution policies by nation: Charlotte told me that after a few days, when the numbness had subsided and she stopped bursting into tears every few minutes, she tried to think of a rational explanation. Some clubs even offer happy-hour specials. On the other hand, a man can usually get sex for free in the context of an ordinary intimate relationship. Accordingly, these individuals seek prostitutes for varied reasons. That is, an ordinary female date might reject a man or happen to be tired, distant or not in the mood.

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